How Could It Be Like This?

guess what? ong shingying failed her favourite subject!
i failed addmaths & maybe modern maths. okay, haters, congrats me! i only will get a paper's marks for modern maths. because....will blog about it when im free. & no, i didnt copy people's answer & get caught. so yea, i guess you know what happened. && im sucha crybaby. wtf. wtf. wtf. wtf. i got 48.888888888889 for my addmaths! heck. very first time. and of course i cried. i pass my paper2 but failed paper1, oh. lagi wtf. although its like very okay for others, but it aint like that for me. i never fail my maths subject. i never get a C for maths subject. i never get a B for modernmaths since i was little. & i never get below 70 for addmaths! but this time, it was like so......ishhhh. i was okay when i got my paper, before that i actually cried for it. so yea, no feeling at all. i broke down when people asked bout it. how could it be like this? others improve, although not over 30, but still its an improvement & mine, drop till ...kanasai man. from B to failed. wtf! from 70+ to 40+ shit. why so sai wan?! i didnt study much for that lo seriously. & i know i surely get a bad bad result, but i didnt know i will fail. it was good for those who get lower marks, but it wasnt for me. & maybe others will say "her addmaths good already la. why cry? cry for what? compare to us laa. we only got 10+ nia, siao ah?" imagine you are someone who are so geng in english or whatever subject, you always get A or B, 70+ in that. then suddenly, you got only 40 for that subject. how do you feel? && i didnt mean that i am so geng in addmaths, its just that i always do quite, urm, quite average in that. its my favourite subject afterall. i made many stupid mistakes. shit. ah! whatever whatever! &&& most probably i will fail my sejarah and english too. i only got a paper's marks for three subjects. shit.
impossible i will go S2 next year. i should've study for addmaths. i should've study for every subjects. and i should've concentrate in lessons. its just too late. i hope it wont be late for spm, i really gotta concentrate in lessons and study from now on? wtf. surely i will be very sleepy later at tuition, yea, because few hours after i cried, i will feeeeel so sleepy.

no offense to those who get less than 30+. you know what, at least you improve. i was like so crazy today. so bittersweet. i cried & laugh at the same time, wtf. stupid. i am trying to be happy.

this post is so untidy. & my english sucks, a lot of mistake up there, i know. sorry.