saw a maths solution in facebook and that reminds me of last year, and again reminds me of my ambition since form 1, form 2, form 3? I'm not sure. anyway, that's not important. and the ambition which is to become an actuary, pretty ambitious huh?
and if you ask, did i regret with my current course? i would say, No. I'm not regret at all, but come to think of it, sometimes the thoughts of
" why didn't i go for something i wanted since the very beginning. " will appear in my head.
and i would be asking myself " will i regret in the later years? "
and, well i'm not able to tell. i'm a very ambivalent person.
well, from actuarial science to quantity surveying? i did not foresee that.
i give up my dream cause of last year, stress i can say.
the moment when you feel like crying when solving questions.
the moment when you know the way of solving, but...when you're in the exam hall, your mind just went blank, so blank, that you can only stare at the paper.
and later, i told myself actuarial science is just so not my thing.
back then, i prefer a stress-less life, a carefree life for the future, which is now.
i guess i was the only one feeling stressful back there other than the four classmates.
i'd allowed the fear to conquer my so-called dream for so long. . .
that i feel so dull right now, that i want something challenging.
i don't even know what i want now.
urmmm, nope, the thing is...i want everything.
i'm so greedy that i want everything.
i would like to study everything, just for interest, but right now, interest is not for me. how can you talk bout interest when you don't have the ability to pay your own tuition fees.
i know and i understand that point.
and i told my mom about it, and well, i feel damn guilty when no one lectures/scolds me.
i feel like....i'm a shitty person who doesn't think properly before act
i feel so immature for slightly changed my mind,
i feel like... i'm a spoiled kid
and i wonder how my parents bear with me.
if you ask am i switching or not?
the possibility of switching is utterly low.
all these are just
the thoughts that are playing in my head,
and i need to let them out!
Shoo.
5 comments:
Sometimes, there is a gap between our interest/our dream and reality. I have just given up one of my dream last month. I will feel very regretful or not in future, I am not sure. What I know, I have given up one dream which I have been chasing after for a long time.
You know what?
You can still change course if you want to
It's only your first year, you can take a double or something like that so that your first year is not wasted too!
What did your parents say?
keanhooi
Yea, same situation keanhooi. There is a gap, a simple decision can change everything. and now, once decision are made, its better not to think about it, and just look forward.
Thank you, btw. ;)
wanyi
yea. my parents are okay with it. they said its still early, like you said, first year. just that i feel spoiled. and choosing this doesnt make me regret, it just that im so greedy i want more. will consider bout it after finals.
you jiayou yo! :D
让过去过去，让未来到来。
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